An ethical will is a personal document in which you record which values, life lessons and insights you want to pass on to the people who come after you. Unlike a legal will, it is not about possessions or money, but about who you are and what you have learned. It is a tradition that is thousands of years old, but is now taking on a new form thanks to digital possibilities for preserving text, speech and images for later.
You start an ethical will simply by writing down what really matters to you: the lessons life has taught you, the choices you are proud of, the mistakes that taught you something, and the values you hope your children or grandchildren will take with them. There is no fixed format. It can be a letter, a series of short notes, a recorded conversation or a video where you simply tell your story. What matters more than the form is that you start, even if it is with just one paragraph.
What an ethical will is and is not
An ethical will does not replace a legal will and has no legal status. It does not regulate anything about inheritance, custody or ownership. If you want to regulate that side of things, you do so through a notary, and you can record the preparation for it clearly via preparing your will and agreements with the notary. An ethical will stands alongside that: it is the human addition to the legal arrangement, the story behind the facts.
What does fit in is very personal. Some people write about their upbringing, their faith or life philosophy. Others focus on practical wisdom: how they dealt with setbacks, what work meant to them, how they maintained relationships. Still others choose concrete memories, such as the reason behind a family tradition or the story behind a piece of jewellery that has been passed down through generations.
Why this is more than sentimentality
It is tempting to see an ethical will as something soft or non-binding, but for many people it is actually one of the most used documents within a family. Whereas a legal will is often only opened after someone dies and is then quickly filed away again, an ethical will is regularly re-read, especially at times when someone faces a big decision or needs support. It gives a voice to someone who is no longer there, at precisely the moments when that voice is needed.
That is also why form and preservation matter. A few loose sheets of paper are easily lost or not found. If you record your life lessons digitally, you can choose to have them delivered at a specific moment, for example at an eighteenth birthday, graduation or wedding. With scheduling messages for later you decide for yourself when and to whom such a message is shown, so that the words do not disappear into a drawer but land precisely at the moment when they mean the most.
How to go about it without getting stuck
The biggest stumbling block with an ethical will is not the writing itself, but the feeling that it has to be complete and perfect. It doesn't. Start with one theme: a lesson you learned from your parents, or a moment when you realised what really matters. Write in your own language, without trying to sound wise or solemn. The sincerity is what makes it valuable, not the style.
Some people find that writing is not their thing, but speaking is. In that case, it can help to simply record or film your stories, so that your voice and way of telling are preserved. Via have your voice and stories preserved you record not only the words, but also the tone and way you would tell something, something that is often lost on paper.
A living document, not a one-off task
An ethical will doesn't have to be finished all at once. Values sometimes shift over the years, and new insights deserve a place alongside the older ones. So it's perfectly fine to add something to it now and then, without having to rewrite everything. Anyone who wants to know exactly how such a document is created and stored will find an overview at how creating and storing works.
Ultimately, an ethical will is a gift that reaches further than possessions or money: it is a piece of yourself that continues to exist in the choices and thoughts of the people who come after you. You don't have to finish it in one afternoon. Just start today, with the first thought that comes to mind.
Would you like to get started yourself? You can start for free at PSILY and calmly, at your own pace, record your values and stories for the people you love.