One of the most important parts of PSILY is your trusted buddies, but what exactly are they and what do they do?
A trusted buddy is a counselor: someone you choose because you trust them. You can designate one to three. They receive an e-mail invitation and play a quiet but important role in the background.
Their job is simple: if PSILY can't reach you for a while, your trusted buddies can confirm that the time has come and activate your account. This way, you can be sure that your groceries actually arrive, even if you are no longer there to arrange it yourself.
Just as important is what a trusted buddy can't do. A buddy can never see the content of your messages. They remain completely private until they arrive at the correct recipient. So a buddy doesn't open the door to your words — he or she just helps them get started at the right time.
You manage your trusted buddies in your account under “Trusted buddies”. Do you already have someone as a contact? Then you can make him or her a trusted buddy with one click. Choose people you really trust — knowing that your legacy is in good hands gives you peace of mind.
Who do you choose? Four questions to help you
Most people choose their partner, and that often makes sense — but not always as your only choice. Go through these four questions.
**Will this person stay reachable?** A trusted buddy must be able to receive an email and respond to it, even five or ten years from now. Someone who changes their email address every year or never checks their inbox is not a good choice — no matter how dear they are.
**Can this person handle it?** At the moment you need them, your buddy might be grieving themselves. That's exactly why there can be more than one: sharing the load is lighter than bearing it alone.
**Is this person likely to notice?** Choose someone who would quickly know if something happened to you. A good friend from another city you speak to twice a year might not hear about it for weeks.
**Would you give this person a key to your house?** Not because a buddy can see your messages — nobody can — but because it requires the same kind of trust.
What does a trusted buddy actually notice in practice?
Almost nothing, and that's the point. Your buddy gets one invitation by email explaining what the role involves and that they will never see any of your content. After that, it's quiet, possibly for years.
Only when PSILY can't reach you for a long time does your buddy receive a message asking them to confirm that it's necessary. That's one action, with clear explanation. There's still a waiting period between that confirmation and actual activation — a safety net in case someone makes a mistake or acts too quickly.
What if you don't have anyone?
That's possible, and it doesn't have to be a problem. If you don't assign a trusted buddy, PSILY falls back on your vital signs: if you don't respond to check-ins for a long time, the system eventually starts moving on its own. It takes longer than with a buddy, but your messages stay reachable for the people they're meant for.
You can also assign someone later. Many people start without one and add someone once they have someone in mind — you can do this anytime, and you can replace buddies just as easily.
Buddies, recipients and the digital safe are three different things
These three are often confused, so let's be clear. A **recipient** is someone you prepare a message for; they get exactly that message and nothing else. A **trusted buddy** only helps get the process started and never sees content. And the digital safe is completely separate: it opens only for the person you've designated, with three separate keys.
One person can have multiple roles, by the way. Your partner can be your trusted buddy and the recipient of your most beautiful letter at the same time. That doesn't change the separation: even then, as a buddy they see nothing of what's prepared for others. How that's technically secured, you can read at security.