Who will speak at your funeral? Decide that in advance yourself
You can set down in advance exactly who gets to speak at your funeral, the order in which that happens, and which topics or memories you'd like to hear about. That can be just a few sentences on paper, but also more elaborate: per speaker a name, a role, and possibly a theme they can reflect on.
It's a detail that loved ones often forget until the day itself arrives. Who do you ask to speak, who would feel uncomfortable doing so, and who would really want to but doesn't dare ask? By setting this down now, no one has to negotiate in the days after a death over something that could actually have been clear already.
Why this is more than just a list of names
A speech isn't just about who stands before the group. It's about what image of you is painted on that one day when everyone is together. Maybe you want your oldest friend to tell about the years before you had children, while your partner says something about everyday life together. Maybe you'd prefer a grandchild to share a short, light story between the heavier moments. That kind of distribution rarely happens naturally under time pressure, let alone when multiple people feel called to speak without anything being arranged.
By having the conversation now, or simply writing it down, you also prevent another discomfort: someone feeling overlooked because they weren't asked, when you didn't mean it that way at all. A clear list of speakers, possibly with a brief explanation of why you chose these particular people, removes that uncertainty.
What you can set down exactly
Don't just think about names. Also set down the order in which you want to hear the speakers, roughly how much time each speech should take, and whether there's a fixed closing you find important, such as a poem or a final sentence that always comes up in your family. Some people even give each speaker a suggestion: an anecdote they haven't told often, or precisely a period from their life they feel is underrepresented.
You can also indicate what you'd rather not have. Maybe you find certain stories too personal for a large group, or you want a speech about work to be omitted because your funeral shouldn't be about your career. Those kinds of boundaries are just as valuable as the wishes themselves, because they prevent a speaker from later doubting whether something was appropriate.
Preserving stories for those who need to tell them
Someone who has to give a speech often searches hard for the right memory. That becomes easier if material is already prepared: an anecdote you've written down yourself, a video in which you tell a joke the way you tell it, or a short audio fragment with your voice. By preserving your voice and stories , you lock down exactly that, so the person who speaks doesn't have to rely on memory but has something tangible to fall back on.
You can also set aside individual messages for specific people via setting a message aside for later. Think of a short thank you to the person you've asked to speak, or an instruction that's only meant for them and doesn't need to be part of the funeral wishes themselves.
How you record this in PSILY
Within PSILY's funeral planning, you can add speakers, order, and desired topics alongside your other wishes such as music and the form of the service. That way everything is in one place and no one has to search for loose notes or old messages. Go to record your funeral wishes to see what that looks like in practice, and view via how PSILY works in practice how you can set down your first wishes in just a few steps.
It's not a document you need to get perfect all at once. You can add something to it years later if you change your mind about who you'd like to ask, or if someone important has come into your life. It's precisely that freedom that makes it easier to start today, instead of waiting for the perfect moment.
Do you want to experience for yourself how simple it is to record these wishes? Start for free at PSILY and set down your first choices about your funeral in just a few minutes, so your loved ones later know exactly who you would have liked to hear from.